Two friends walk into a bar. The first friend says to the second one, “Drinks are on me. Our usual?” He immediately instructs the bartender, “Two Liquid Mercury’s, neat.” The second friend interjects, “I’ll have mine on the rocks if you don’t mind.” The bartender pours the drinks and places them in front of the two men. The first friend slaps the money down on the counter, grabs the shot glass and guzzles down the drink. He looks over at his friend who is not drinking but instead is staring into the drink as if waiting for something. The first friend is puzzled and asks, “Why didn’t you guzzle with me? And what’s with the ice? You never have it with ice.”

The second friend replies, “My wife told me I had to cut down on my liquor.”